Shocking Real Lives- ‘Erotic Massage Saved my Life!’
Adrian Coleman, 52, had no idea his cheeky trips to his local Asian massage parlour for prostate “examinations” had actually saved him from life-threatening prostate cancer.
Adrian had no idea he was at risk to the cancerous virus until a trip to the Gynaecologist revealed he had a lucky escape. Reporter Marika Sparks met him for a drink in London for a complete expose on the miracle of erotic massage.
The Secret Diary of Adrian Coleman. By Marika Sparks
I met Mr Coleman on a drizzly Tuesday lunchtime to learn more about his story. All I had been given by my editor was an email thread between Adrian and one of our researchers. The first email he sent was brief but to the point, ‘erotic massages saved my life, I guess even it is a bit embarrassing to admit it, but if it saves someone’s life, who is anyone to judge?’ Adrian hits some interesting points in this introduction to his tale. For starters, it is widely known that all kinds of men visit erotic massage parlours. A study in 2016 found in an anonymous survey that 71% have been or would go to an erotic parlour, this number is rising. Despite this, why is admitting publicly that you enjoy frequenting parlours ‘embarrassing’? We live in a society that is still very afraid of sex and hostile towards anything remotely sexual. Other countries, Holland for instance, have a much more liberal mindset when it comes to sexual pleasure. With Britain it is the age-old game of everyone does it but we don’t talk about it. Adrian, a construction worker from Coventry, might be the man to change this.
Meeting him in a traditional London boozer, I’ll admit he didn’t look like quite the pioneer to release Brits from the shackles of Sex Shame… 5, medium build, a bit of beer belly, light stubble and shaved head on the point of balding. If Phil Mitchell had a trimmer twin brother, Adrian would be his double. We took a corner table and ordered drinks, to my surprise the rugged builder ordered a lime and soda. ‘Bit early for me’, he said, ‘been looking after myself, to be honest, quit smoking and don’t drink nearly as much as I used to.’ ‘And massages?’ I tease, he cracks a smile, ‘I go at least once a month… Doctors’ orders.’ We take our drinks to our table, it’s more private here and I’m hoping to get a more detailed narrative from Adrian. I decide to start from the very beginning, I ask him to tell me about his very first massage.
‘To be honest with you I’d never got one til my divorce. Met my first wife when I was sixteen, childhood sweethearts, you know, married at 18, baby on the way then the other, then our youngest Michael. By the time I was 25 I had three kids, a wife and a mortgage. I worked away a lot, did lorry driving and it’s funny looking back, I can remember a lot of my mates back then, other guys on the road, would tell me about going for a happy ending now and again, a body to body massage, stuff like that and I never thought anything of it. To tell you the truth, I suppose I probably felt bad for them, thought it meant they didn’t have a missus to come back to. When I was at home though, I wasn’t exactly getting my fill. My ex-wife, after the kids were born would hardly touch me, everything I did or said was wrong, felt like I was walking on eggshells most of the time. Would be scared to open my mouth without facing her wrath. It was a stressful time in our lives, we were young parents with plenty of mouths to feed and never a penny in the pot for anything else. We grew apart, there’s no real drama with it, she has the kids and I see them on weekends. I went through a funny time after the breakup, I thought I’d feel great, free of the negativity, the stress but actually, I just felt really sad. I was still in my twenties but going out with the lads was horrible, guys my age didn’t care about anything, a drink and a shag with whoever was around. Whereas I would stand at a bar thinking about whether my son had done alright on his first day of school. I couldn’t chat girls up, listen to their stories about what their bitchy mate had gone and done. I was an old man in a young man’s body.’
I ask him how he found his first parlour. ‘Well I think it was after the divorce went through, I was out with a mate, a guy from school and he’d told me he had booked me in somewhere, you know as a pick me up. I didn’t even wanna go but he’s a good lad and I trusted him so..’ And what was it like I ask, your first time… Here Adrian pauses, he thinks back and I can see he is looking for the right words. Perhaps he, like most Brits is still embarrassed to talk about sex, especially to a female… ‘Really very nice.’ He smiles. ‘Her name was Joon and I think she was a little older than me.’ He looks around to see if anyone is watching and continues, ‘You know I hadn’t slept with anyone but my wife ever, not even kissed another girl, not properly. As far as – he puts this in hand quotes “experimenting sexually” I was as experienced as I was when I was 16. Joon changed that. I had no idea it could feel that good.’ And afterwards, I ask him, ‘Afterwards? Well I mean right away I felt tons better, had confidence back in myself, I felt strong and together and lighter on my feet. I don’t know, this is gonna sound well naff, but I remember thinking right after that everything was going to be alright. And that might seem like nothing, but right around then I’d been feeling the world on my shoulders, breaking my back.’
Male mental health has been up for public discussion in recent months, with celebrities speaking out and Coronation Street covering it with a number of poignant male depression storylines. What I think Adrian is highlighting at this point in the story, is a real epidemic issue, with young men not knowing how to cope with the emotional and financial pressures of life, with no guidance an no one to hold at night, men can fall into dangerous waters. Perhaps erotic massages aren’t for everyone but sitting in front of Adrian here, now, and seeing how he found hope, comfort even in getting a massage, it’s hard to think of it as the sleazy underbelly of society. Some people go to therapy, some people join groups, turn to religion, some people suffer in silence, Adrian got himself a massage. What’s the difference?
I ask him now about his prostate. – This has certainly been quite the lunch chat… And with only the slight raise of an eyebrow he divulges the truth. ‘I’ve been getting massages for almost twenty years now. I’ve had partners, tell you the truth I’m basically married now. I mean I wouldn’t go through the whole heehaw again but you know, we’re very much in love.’ He must know what I’m thinking so he adds, ‘Maybe at first I went for the companionship, or at least that’s why I thought I was going but the more I went, I started to realise I wasn’t going for that, I was learning more about sex, I was exploring what I was in to. I tried different styles, tantric, Nuru and then I found prostate. Really these sorts of massages, to be done properly need to be done by a professional. I mean take prostate for example- sure anyone could stick a finger up your butt but a trained masseuse will massage your prostate gland, find your g-spot and… Well, I don’t exactly know what they get up to down there but it feels amazing.’ I ask how his partner feels about his massages; he laughs and says ‘She gets it. Some men think their partners won’t like it so they go in secret but I think it has actually made my relationship healthier. I’m not cheating on her with my masseuse because it’s not like I have a relationship with them, I just go for pleasure.’ Myself, a woman in her thirties, can’t help but wonder if I would be as chilled with my partner going to an erotic massage parlour, but I suppose if they were open and honest about it, why should it be a problem.
Getting back to the story, I ask him when he discovered he might have issues with his prostate. ‘Prostate cancer killed off my dad, my uncle and sadly three years ago my brother Gregg. After he passed I thought I best get myself checked out. I went to see a gynaecologist, when I got there the Doc was really impressed with the state of my prostate gland. He said he’d never seen one so healthy, well looked after.’ Adrian can’t help look a little proud of this. I ask him what the Doctor meant by this; ‘At first, I had no idea, he even called another Doctor in to show him. Then they sat me down and asked some questions. I said to them, I said listen I have been getting prostate massages regularly for almost twenty years, and they said that could explain it.’ I tell him I don’t quite understand, that I don’t know why getting a prostate massage would prevent his prostate getting damaged. He explains ‘The prostate normally, for most men, goes under the radar, left dormant it’s more at risk to get infected, once it’s infected that whole area is vulnerable to viruses, to cancer. You could see a prostate massage as a prostate cleaning; the masseuse always wears a glove and uses special oils when doing the massage. The massage cleans out that whole area, and by massaging the gland it sort of wakes it up and it gets stronger. I don’t know all the science about it, but as the doc said, I narrowly escaped getting the same hereditary condition that wiped out the other males in my family.’
Adrian pauses in thought. I ask him if this is why he has come forward with his story, he nods. ‘If getting a prostate massage could have saved Gregg, think how many other guys out there could be spared. That’s why I’m doing this because no-one else is saying anything.’ Adrian is writing a book about his journey, he says he delves into male mental health as well as physical well-being. It has already been picked up by a leading British publishing house but Adrian is not at liberty to discuss that now.
We end our chat and I leave, as I’m walking away I think about our conversation, I think about Adrian and his partner and how his trip to an erotic massage parlour in his late twenties during a dark time may be the reason he is still here today. Life is full of surprises.
Now you have listened to the benefits of getting a prostate massage, why don’t you book your own? On our website, there will be more information about what will happen during the massage, some prices and how you can get in touch with us. We look forward to meeting you!